by Candice Ann Moraga

A life of running – to be FREE was for what I would yearn
Yet paradoxically, could not achieve without a return

Facing my helplessness, from when I was so small
He seemed like a giant – inhumanly tall

Growing to mythical proportions in my absence
In reality, shrinking, from when I had been since

Like an old habit, naturally it came back to me
Walking in the middle of my old country street

Is that a sidewalk? I don’t remember that there…
And suddenly, I became… very AWARE

Neighborhood watch signs – their fears OUTSIDE the home!
“I don’t remember that…” – I continued to roam

Escalades lined the streets – so did Caddies
Where is my firefly field, filled with cow patties?!

I knew where my house was, yet couldn’t believe my eyes!
A house where my swing-set was?! Utter surprise!

Yet another house squashed on the other side
But my humming box, they still couldn’t hide

On the neighbor’s lawn, it now belongs
I REMEMBER COMPOSING MY VERY FIRST SONGS

Electrical frequency drawing me near
I remembered that tone, I’d initially hear

I’d HARMONIZE back, CREATE MELODY
DELIGHTED with CHORDS PRESENTed to me

Electric, magnetic, RESONANT SOUND
This GIFT I’d been given, I MAGICally found!

As I reminisced, and sat upon my old companion
A new one drew near, and purred with abandon

We two were prowlers in the night
Discovering TREASURES by moonlight

But the reason it took me so long to come back
Was the memory of a particularly bad attack

I knew he had been back – he faced his fear
But my guilt over witnessing still lingered near

I couldn’t do anything – I was so helpless
It traumatized me, until I felt worthless

His neck stomped upon, his face was so red
Couldn’t rid the images from my head

So instead I focused upon the GLOW
Of a familiar friend with whom I would GROW

The magical knobs on the stereo receiver
CHANNELED VOICES from HEAVEN– I was a BELIEVER!

No house feels like HOME without it PLUGGED IN
Without it, emptiness lurks within

Where are you? COME BACK TO ME!
What have the movers done with my Sansui!

You’ve been with me since Germany–
You’ve been there since the BIRTH of me!
COMFORT ME, SOOTHE ME, SET ME FREE